Collect Moments

As pragmatic as it may sounds, being financially secured gives me temporary satisfaction with life. At the age of almost 21, it's the first time I seen a 4 digits on my account balance. Perhaps it means almost nothing to any working adult out there but to someone who has never been able to save money, this has come a long way. Since young I never managed to save up, I spent away every single cent of allowance I have, but I never knew what exactly I spent on. I admit that I always have a bad sense of money keeping, I bought fanciful account books to record done but the records never last more than a week.  And I always knew that it's crucial to manage one's finances in case of any emergency, no one would want to turn down their children in the future should they really want a toy and you had to look back in their eyes,trying to explain that you don't have any spares for it. Or at least that's what I felt, though I have never in life asked for anything from my mum, no...

The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.  - Marcus Aurelius, philosopher.  Life continues to revolve around my precious sweethearts, as we embraced 940's 20th with a simple and pleasant dinner together. Thinking back to our teenage days in Anglican, and the separate paths we took thereafter, I have never stop giving thank to having you by my side. You are, I would say, a gem to me, as a friend; as a listener; as an advisor. I have never met anyone like you in my life; someone who I have to fight to pay for meals; someone that never gives up or complains about the unfairness in life; someone who always puts on her strong side in front of everyone. I lost count of the times you were there for me through all my up and downs, you were always listening to me without fail, since five years ago, since the very day very moment we talked outside 2J, and I knew I could entrust you my everything from then on. Like finally meeting someone that you feel clos...

From time to time, I think I can change others, I always think that if I'm happy and positive, people around me would be influenced too, I always think that I'm capable and that I'm able to. But at the end of the day, no one can change anybody. It would all be futile, things never work back then, and it will never work now neither. Either you accept the fact that people doesn't simply change, or that you move on from there. 

With the melancholic mood in mind, it seems perfect to talk about money, competition and trade-offs tonight. For most of the time I'd rather look at things with optimism and that everything could been worse than the situation now, but there are also times that I'm too tired to convince myself and just let myself fall back into misery. But everything is fine, or rather it will be, eventually. I din't begin with much ambitious plans for the long three months school break, apart from the Ocip that ate away the first month, my holiday has no other plans. I really really wished that I could be ogl or councillors for Arts camp because I had so much fun a year back, and those camping times isn't anything you can get when school starts. I remember how crazy I laughed and cheered and losing my voice on the third day of the camp, I imagined myself being part of it again this year but with my commitment for tuitions, especially after skipping everything for 3 weeks for Ocip, I f...

Since I've been lying in darkness the past three hours in hope for a power nap but nothing magical is happening, I've succumbed to my wide-awake conscious instead. Life's been peaceful and yet time passed like a butt on fire, while it feels like I have not yet settled down fully, I have got library book overdue already, and missed my deadline to send out the relevant documents for financial aid, and in a week and two it's the 20th birthday of my two important friends in life. Argh, and yes I will openly confess that I haven't make any plans for it yet. But it's okay, for there is always tomorrow and tomorrow is always a better day teehee. As we grow it somehow seems that we find it hard to find time for our friends, did we really get busier, or just more self-oriented? Meh, Yes I do miss a few individuals but a second look at my schedule everything is fully packed. Well. I sure miss talking to yall. Ok time to put mask, till then. Wa this post is crap.

Being half slothful and half addicted to anime, I've been procrastinating in producing my reflection on the two weeks long overseas service learning. And also because so much had happened that it's hard to compress everything into a clean and neat post. Though to be very frank I would like to confess that I did not find this trip as life-impacting as I thought it would be on me, and that I felt I wasn't much of a help to them. Yes the kids had fun and they cried when we left, it was all heart-wrenching to see their tears, but something seems to be missing in this picture. Part I - Education. Ok uhm education, huge challenge due to communication barrier, my thai knowledge during the first week was beyond pathetic. And also that I din't feel teaching was a new exposure for me since I've been giving quite a number of tuitions back in Singapore. What's more the thought that I was teaching a group of thai kids english when we have no idea what each othe...