Keep your heart a little soft.
With the melancholic mood in mind, it seems perfect to talk about money, competition and trade-offs tonight. For most of the time I'd rather look at things with optimism and that everything could been worse than the situation now, but there are also times that I'm too tired to convince myself and just let myself fall back into misery. But everything is fine, or rather it will be, eventually.
I din't begin with much ambitious plans for the long three months school break, apart from the Ocip that ate away the first month, my holiday has no other plans. I really really wished that I could be ogl or councillors for Arts camp because I had so much fun a year back, and those camping times isn't anything you can get when school starts. I remember how crazy I laughed and cheered and losing my voice on the third day of the camp, I imagined myself being part of it again this year but with my commitment for tuitions, especially after skipping everything for 3 weeks for Ocip, I figured that it's hell irresponsible to continue to mia. Sigh, a look at the whassapp group chat but everything seems so distant away. Oh well, guess this is the price to pay for choosing Ocip a year ago. Urgh, for a moment or two I fucking wished that I don't have to give tuitions on weekdays but, well, that was yet another promised made to my senior to take over her tuitions while she is overseas for internship. Meh. Got to be responsible.
Money is not the root of all evil, greed is. Another thing that kind of saddens me was how tan din't get into the call centre, I could feel my heart sunk a little when I saw the text. It's not that I'm overly attached and we must work together, but honestly, I won't go for it if weren't for the presumption that we will work together. And trying to shift all 7 tuitions to weekends because of this job is another thing that I've not yet arranged for. Reality is cruel and the world is competitive, it was today that I realized this is just the beginning, as the same batch of uni students and furthermore same course, we are going to be constantly compared with and compete against, be it internship opportunities or exchange or jobs in the future. And sometimes, it's tiring to be with someone that is competitive. When things din't go in your will and you found yourself on the beneficial end, you find it hard to bring any comforting words to your mouth for everything sounds superficial when you are not the one in their shoes. A one month part time job doesn't carry much weight but there will be more shits in life in our way. Life's never easy and seldom go in our will, I've learn it long ago.
Ok now this really sucks. I don't like to complain to people because I find it unnecessary and a burden to and it pulls down people's mood when I can just manage it myself, and most importantly, all bad time pass, for this I firmly believe.
I din't begin with much ambitious plans for the long three months school break, apart from the Ocip that ate away the first month, my holiday has no other plans. I really really wished that I could be ogl or councillors for Arts camp because I had so much fun a year back, and those camping times isn't anything you can get when school starts. I remember how crazy I laughed and cheered and losing my voice on the third day of the camp, I imagined myself being part of it again this year but with my commitment for tuitions, especially after skipping everything for 3 weeks for Ocip, I figured that it's hell irresponsible to continue to mia. Sigh, a look at the whassapp group chat but everything seems so distant away. Oh well, guess this is the price to pay for choosing Ocip a year ago. Urgh, for a moment or two I fucking wished that I don't have to give tuitions on weekdays but, well, that was yet another promised made to my senior to take over her tuitions while she is overseas for internship. Meh. Got to be responsible.
Money is not the root of all evil, greed is. Another thing that kind of saddens me was how tan din't get into the call centre, I could feel my heart sunk a little when I saw the text. It's not that I'm overly attached and we must work together, but honestly, I won't go for it if weren't for the presumption that we will work together. And trying to shift all 7 tuitions to weekends because of this job is another thing that I've not yet arranged for. Reality is cruel and the world is competitive, it was today that I realized this is just the beginning, as the same batch of uni students and furthermore same course, we are going to be constantly compared with and compete against, be it internship opportunities or exchange or jobs in the future. And sometimes, it's tiring to be with someone that is competitive. When things din't go in your will and you found yourself on the beneficial end, you find it hard to bring any comforting words to your mouth for everything sounds superficial when you are not the one in their shoes. A one month part time job doesn't carry much weight but there will be more shits in life in our way. Life's never easy and seldom go in our will, I've learn it long ago.
Ok now this really sucks. I don't like to complain to people because I find it unnecessary and a burden to and it pulls down people's mood when I can just manage it myself, and most importantly, all bad time pass, for this I firmly believe.
Comments