30

 Hrm. Time for a letter to myself.

 Age: 30 soon. 

Mood: slight worried, but otherwise contented. Slight tinge of melancholic.

If not wrong, this space was created in 2007, which makes it 16 years ago. And here I am, still using it. though very occasionally given all the other life commitments, and mostly too idle to update regularly. But it's still a space that I could make use of and come back to in time of need to pen down thoughts like now.  

Becoming 30 has been, hrm, a convenient excuse to justify recent spending/splurging on self-care. Laser facials to rejuvenate youth (?), eyebrow embroidery touch up, buying quite a number of new clothes and shoes because 30-should-dress-with-style (?), and other purchases that I couldn't recall. 

Becoming 30 also became, hrm, a motivation to get a few to-do-list in life done. Like getting my first tattoo tomorrow, which I am feeling a lil unsure how it will turn out, but que sera? And signing up for a half marathon for dec, coincidentally I ran my 1st and last half marathon exactly 10 years ago. 

Becoming 30 also coincides with a period of emotional turmoil lately. Which is difficult to elaborate here but might be food for thought for a long time forward. 

End of day looking at all these things I did above. Maybe deep down I am looking for some changes, under the disguise of 30. To feel, different. To become, different. And I shall, be different, in a getting better way. 

It always goes back to same things that I pursue after the past years. Fitter physique, devote more time to meaningful hobbies like painting, and recently digital illustrations. and of cause now there are more things added to the list, how to be the mother that ahbao needs, and not forgetting to be a wife in everyday life. There is still not much goal for work though, just, wanna do my job and OT less. 

right. I'm getting sleepy. goodnight world. goodnight blog. 

thank you for being here.