Knock Knock

 

I recall seeing an ST article that 'every 6 out of 10 Singaporeans have been infected with Covid-19' start of the month and thinking that I somewhat belong to the 'minority' group that hasn't been infected almost 3 years almost the virus was first known to public. And here came Covid knocking on our door over the weekend. We don't know what or who is the source, perhaps it was when xb and I both fell sick last week (although ART/PCR tests then were negative), or when lnr came home feeling unwell on Thursday. What we know is that on Friday morning we were both tested positive. 

My symptoms were very mild - headache and a bit of runny nose but Lnr's having it a lot worse - he started off with body aches and nauseas to high fever with cough and sore throat on day 3 today. The viral load in me are probably a lot lighter as my ART turned negative on the 3rd day.

We quarantined ourselves in the MBR since Friday and I moved over to the study room by myself after I'm cleared for another day. Thoughts, it's the first time we were separated from xb and also the first time I had 24 hours a day all to myself since the birth of xb, which felt like really long ago. I thought the virus hit quite timely because I was just feeling a lil burnt out from shuffling between work and a newborn and here I was suddenly granted total freedom (albeit confined to a physical room) to literally take a break from everything, like a pause button and some undisturbed rest I was craving for. Although the sweet liberating feeling eventually turned into a lil sadness parting from xb on the second day. What weird experience a child brings - it's a very tired kind of happiness. 

Since I've turned negative this morning, I peeped out from the door here and there and to my sweet surprise, xb noticed me and tried to wave at me when our eyes meet. Aha. Just as I was slight worried that she might have forgotten me, perhaps it was just a silly thought, but she is still only a 9 months old baby. 

I felt really grateful and blessed for the care and love from family and friends while we are down. Chua kept checking on us and brought over a whole range of medicines and cleaning supplies; ali who ordered a whole bag of liang teh for us to spam on all the way from Shanghai; laoniang who came over in the morning and stayed till night to help out baby sitting, taking care of Pudding and preparing food for us; MIL and SIL who swing by with breakfasts and drink. It's heartwarming to be loved, at inconvenient times like this. Maybe this is what life is all about. A happy ride on earth, living in the moment with people that care for each other, connections.  

I also got my fair share of rest. Binged watch 'fresh off the boat' S1 and S2 thanks for chua's Disney plus account, had 3 days of eating my meals in peace without rushing through to attend or entertain xb concurrently, laze on bed all day long, did yoga at any time of the day and lastly, picking up my watercolor toothbrush again. It's been really long cos I have been finding all sorts of excuses for myself. I don't know when it started but I've been feeling stress up whenever I paint because I was afraid that it will turn out ugly, and the fact that I am always copying with no originality, that I'm not doing it up to standard. All these doubts and pressure made me wanting to avoid painting all together. But what I really want to remind myself again is that, perhaps it is ok, it is ok to copy others, it is ok if it didn't turn out perfect, it is ok because painting is a process to be enjoyed, it's meant to find yourself in the midst of work and child minding. A lot of times I get lost and forget these. I chose to paint a light house today, to remind myself that there is always light at the end of the road, find that light within us..