WEEK 39 - XIAOBAO

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Here we are. Final countdown to xiaobao's arrival after close to 10 months. Becoming prego since Feb has made 2021 the year of expecting. I couldn't recall much things that aren't revolving around this.

Oh well. It is pretty life changing after all, and only will be more so in time to come?

A common question I get a lot lately if if I am ready. I guess it's always a case of 'nobody is ever ready'.

Materially we think we are, tapping on the baby preparation and hospital packing list from experienced mamas around us, received abundance of baby item blessings, went through two rounds of taobao hauls and festive sales for the big item purchases. 

Mentally,ah, I will probably only truly understand what's waiting for me ahead and try to adapt when the time comes. Its hard to imagine everything, a new fragile baby in arms, feeding milk off my breast, trying to differentiate her needs with each cry, and the list goes on...

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In fact, I may be jumping the queue too far ahead. Maybe I should focus on the delivery in the immediate term, which is a challenge on it's own. We don't know when it's going to happen yet. Initially we were told 2 weeks ago to prepare for induce delivery/c-sec last weekend due to bb's light weight (2.4kg at Wk37), after a week of me being very well fed bb has grown to 2.7kg at Wk 38 so we are back to monitoring now. :') 

It's somewhat conflicting because on one hand I feel quite done with preggo and would like to have my body back, yet I have not ready to actually take care a newborn. Nonetheless I been doing exercises/yoga/sitting on yoga ball in hope to induce natural labor. C-sec sounds scarier somehow, although the process is more painless as compared to natural birth? ah, come what may.

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While I never felt the need to be a mother (still feels a lil weird addressing myself as this) or yearning to have a baby with lnr during our 5 years of marriage, I think we will do fine as a new parents at the end of the day. we will raise bb Jaelyn together with lots of love and care, may she grows up in a happy environment and I hope we will guide her to the best we could to become a kind yet not gullible person. And may she teach us new things in life along the way too. 

See you, whenever you are ready 👶