The New Chapter - Mrs Seah.

With the 'Bride-to-be' post still laying in my draft, I am now hitched and promoted to becoming a wife. It sounded unthinkable to many, with my friends' initial reactions being: WHAT / WHY / ARE YOU SURE? Definitely not surprising, it's been just a year since we started dating and I'm still in my final year of degree studies. Perhaps I myself sometimes wonder if everything is truly real or it this all part of a dream. What has been happening is way beyond my wildest prediction of the 23 year old me isn't it? There could have been a million other ways to live our lives, and here's mine, married gratefully to the man I feel comfortable and safe to be with at a really young age, by the modern social norm at least.   

I believe there are always two sides to a coin and there is a need to strike a balance for everything in life, so is marriage. Marrying young now probably comes with a built-in support system for me to pass through my turbulent twenties as I face the uncertainties in career and gaining financial independence. Tehehe, as much as I  might not get the very same freedom my single friends may enjoy. But by comparing the lists of things that singles may get to enjoy versus doing things together with my favourite man I guess I'm never a big party lover. I have never been one yet in life and there has been no regret in that thus far, perhaps life would been entirely different living a carefree life with no strings attached but Ohwell, who knows I might just be learning and receiving much more on how to get comfortable with just one person in life, combining our lives into one. 

How should I put it, was it indeed fate that brought us together? I guess fate and destiny has always been hard to grasp or to truly understand. Considering every action that we have undertaken is based off of the the millions of actions we have taken before, and if that everything does happen for a reason, are we just making the 'choices' that are written in the stars for us and passing it off as 'free will? It is more than that isn't it, our en counter at Obar, the conversations we had, the trips we went on, the decision to take each other as the one we will commit our life to, perhaps it was a combination of fate, effort and time. Should we have met each other when you were an undergraduate and me, a secondary school girl helplessly in love with someone else.  Nothing like last Saturday would have happened ever. Well, whoever's work it might be behind all these, I am truly glad that it was you that I have met and tied the knot with. And may the love between us brew just like a glass of wine - that it will taste better with age.  

Have I thought of how my ideal wedding would be? Definitely, and this is pretty much it, or even better. My ideal of wedding since young has always revolves around a outdoor garden or beach wedding, and that it would be a cosy one with just the people that matters to us dearly in life. Big and showy banquets was never to my liking, and although our last minute decision was largely accounted to the practical reason of my grandma's poor health. I am truly grateful that LNR tried to give me the best he could. While there was a period I decided to just go down ROM and sign the papers, LNR insisted on me wearing a gown and have the ceremony at a garden as I have always wanted it to be. There has been much down times for me personally during this period for I felt utterly helpless and even useless that I couldn't contribute to the expenses financially, and all these while LNR tried to make me feel better by comforting me with all the kind words. Ohwell, thank you :')  

We had a short one month to count down to the Big day starting from Day 1 as I frantically searched for Venue and Justice of Peace ( licensed Solemnizer ). We were really lucky to be able to secure the two major uncertainties fast before missing the deadline to file for a Registration of Marriage online. Things progressed really quick from there with me sourcing for photographer, florists and most importantly - Taobao for decorations. Those were the days of continual change and drafts over and again but it was worth all the while at the end of the day. We love the venue really bad from the moment we stepped into the bamboo forest entrance, despite knowing it would be a gorgeous place for an intimate wedding I am still quite mesmerised by the elegant and simple feels the place offers. Felt there was zero disappointment throughout and everything was flawless, the brilliant sunlit, the happy faces, the rustic bouquet, the merry atmosphere in the air, me and favourite man~ 

Time passed really quick that very morning, one moment we were by the Bamboo forest taking photos, and the other we were preparing for the solemnisation. There wasn't much time to stop and think at that moment, not that I desperately needed to. So there I was, walking towards my Hubby-to-be, like all the dreamy movie scenes. It felt so surreal, yet so real all at once. I am still me, but no longer the one that cries all night in secondary school, no longer the teenage girl going around fangirl-ing, but taking my vows as I pledge to take this man as my husband for a lifetime. Woah, I think I might take quite a while for this to sink in as my new identity, announcing myself as a married wife.  

I have heard and read so much about marriage and married couples and all their heartwarming or broken stories. While those thoughts seems to be very far away back then, now that I am in one myself, perhaps it's time to ponder how mine will become, or rather, or how do I want it to be and work towards that goal. Are we really what we see and that destined to mimic our parents? Perhaps not entirely. I believe our family upbringing and background does play a role in our own adulthood but again nothing is absolute. It bugs me on the question if quarrelling is indeed healthy for couples. There seems to be a strong argument that a couple that fights together stays together. While I agree that conflicts does improve the relationship, it has to be a constructive and not destructive one. I don't see any good in shouting harsh words at each other that we are likely to hurt our partner and regret later, it would be nice ( and perhaps too idealist of me ) that we could both contain our temper and understand each other's POV.  Henceforth, good communication remains as a crucial factor towards happy marriage in my opinion. Which I guess I will have to work on it constantly, I hope we both will. 

I think amongst all the wonderful photos taken by Aaron ( not to forget how lucky we were to have him around on this joyous day of ours ), this might have been one of my favourites. I was a little worries how our photos might turn out for the day, would it be rainy, would the angles be bad, would my arms be flabby, would the gown be messy. But all these worries kinda disappeared after we met Aaron, who happens to be a friend friend from my snow mountain trip last year. And he sent us the photos with such efficiency on the very same day we had the solemnization, though in his words because he has to go overseas so he wanted to edit them quickly, we are still mesmerised by the timely photos and that it was so beautifully edited, he managed to capture our rawest and happiest moment so perfectly that I felt bad for having to bargain with him on the charges at the beginning Hahaha. 

With that, I will come to a temporal end to my post wedding reflection and moving on to enjoy my life as Lnr's wifey Tehehe. Though as much as friends around has been bombarded me with the exciting question on 'How does being married feels?!' I honestly felt nothing uniquely 'married' thus far so yeah, 无可奉告 everybody. And perhaps this is the best form it could be, that our marriage will just be like when we are dating, hence retaining its freshness and adventure Wootz ~ Till then! 

  

  执子之手，与子偕老。 

----------------------------- Letters for All ------------------------------

 To myself, 

Dearest you, may you be blessed with eternal happiness and laughters from now on. And that you will always be pampered and doted upon, may you put in constant effort to make the marriage works, and that you will always look for new sparks to keep the flames going in everyday life. May you open up yourself wholly and stay committed to your chosen one, and that you will not stray off again. May you love wholeheartedly and be loved equally. May you not take your other half for granted and that you will always be grateful for his little kind words and actions. May you never have to regret your choice and that you will cherish everyday dearly. May you learn slowly to become a better wife everyday, and that till someday when you are ready, be a great mum. 

Love, your 23 year old self.  

   

致 娘亲, 

一直有在想你当天的心情是怎样的，养了二十几年的女儿嫁人了，是不是有种后院养了十几几年的猪突然就送人了的感觉呢，会不会失落呢？希望你还是可以由衷的为我感到开心，因为你的女儿现在很幸福，或许你有时觉得他不够好 但事事从未有过十全十美，人生乃舍取进退，我亦已满足于此。有时真的会担心以后会不会有很大的矛盾与争执让我们进退两难。但事实上几乎都是他站出来当我们的和事佬。总之 希望我们之间以后能少一些争吵，让家里多一些欢笑与关怀～ 

爱你但是很少表达的， 女儿。 

To my lovely friends, 

As I stand in front of all of you, marrying to the person I deem as 'the right one'. I want to thank all of you for playing an important role in my life, contributing to my social well-being. :) Thank you for being the most supportive, for bringing me so much joy as we walked through different phases in life, our teenage years, our young adulthood. I have known most of you a long way back, and some newer, but I hope that all of you would stay in my life as we walk down further. To the day that I attend your wedding, to the times we bring our children out, may we grow old all together in this lifetime. Thank you my friends, for taking care of me well and treating me as genuinely as I do. Thank you for your blessings and well wishes, and I promise to put in effort and time after marriage to continue to cherish our friendships. Thank you dearest all. 

Love, your friend ( hopefully for a long time ) 

To my new found family, 

Thank you all for accepting me as the newest member of the Seah family after the birth of Gareth Tehehe. I am really thankful and glad indeed that all of you have been sooo kind and genuine all the time. I honestly can't imagine marrying into a family with double of my mum Hahahahah. Sometimes I wonder how Lnr feel when he realise that he is now in this with me facing the same 娘亲 hand in hand. Anyways, I hope that I will be really welcomed in the family and that I will see all of you as my own kin one day. I will strive to be a good Mrs Seah and a thoughtful daughter-in-law as much as I could.  :) 

Love, your new member 

To my favourite man in life, as recite in my vow.

There has never been a day with you that you failed to make me smile, your understanding and care has always spur me to become a better lover everyday. 

From now on, I will take you as you are, love you through words and deeds, listen to you with compassion, respect you as a person and a partner. I will laugh with you in times of joy, comfort you in times of sorrow, and supports your goals and dreams in life. I will always stay by your side and sleep in your arms even as you snore, sometimes. 

Let us start a family that is filled with continual learning and laughter, and that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always get a way find to each other. 

With that, I  choose you as my husband to go onto this greatest adventure of our lives together. 

Love, your lovely wife.   

I do, sincerely.  :)