Grumpy thoughts on singles, marriage and kids.

Was browsing through a list of state policies and Family Reports today as one of the modules was touching on it this week. After looking at the history of  policy makings and amendments the state made over the last 50 years, I can't help but to wonder why despite tremendous efforts by the state, billions of dollars thrown into every aspects of life, singles are still delaying marriage, couples are delaying child births in general. All these seems to imply that because the state isn't addressing to the root causes of low TFR and marriage. Yes it might sounds like a cradle to grave approach in alleviating the financial cost of raising a child throughout different life phases From Baby bonus to Medisave for accouchement to Childcare subsidies to Primary one registration priorities to Child Development Account to all sorts of Tax rebates and Paid leave under Marriage & Parenthood package. The Total Fertility Rate isn't showing the least effort to improve.  

Then perhaps it's time to look not at the financial burden of having children but rather the social and cultural barrier in our society that are not being addressed still. Look around us now, while marriage sounds like a natural progression for a young person, singlehood is considered as normal; and marriage matters is still very much governed by traditional gender roles, as much as father shares the responsibility, child rearing is very much a mother's responsibility. And lastly given that we are in this capitalist economy that thrive on competition, the rewards for those who work their ass off in the office is tremendous. Maybe that's where the truth of the matter is, while the larger cost to society takes time to show, the cost to the individual is real and immediate. And perhaps that explains the strong negative correlation between family size and education level of female. 

Oh and we shall not forget the huge pool of singles before we even talk about rearing children. I personally feel that the meaning of marriage has transformed with time, and along with it the expectations of an ideal life partner. Modern marriage are now meant to fulfil personal satisfaction. Gone is the society whereby women is wholly dependent on men, and I definitely believe that economically independent woman can definitely afford to live out as singles if they want to. Gone is the society that is largely scripted by societal norms, I think we are living in a world with much flexibility in options and progression of life goals. All these then raise the bar for spouse selection since we would want someone who would add value to our lives. And let's not forget that our society is one that is highly competitive performance-based evaluation system, living up to our name of being one of the highest number of hours worked in the world. Ain't nobody got time to date yo. 

So who is to blame. I would secretly feel that it's the results of state policies and transitions over the years and pursuing of economic success. Which objectively speaking yes it did indeed offer everyone a high standard of living, but is this a high quality of life? Or maybe I'm just asking for too much, We are indeed, very fortunate and having the best for many things in life. Oh and back to this topic, I think all these social issues we are facing now are all reflections of flaws of past policies, we are what is produced under the state's influence. 

Lastly to end off, it then seems to me that FYP is very important during university days. Yes that's right, Find Your Partner today. Hahahahah now I made myself sounds like some propaganda shit but it seems true to me at least.