Wrapping up.

BStruggled to wake up from a dream this morning. One that I was trying to escape, as usual. This was more draining mentally for I found myself back to the place where I tried to escape after a long ride, and from there I tried to run away again, but it was proved to be another helpless struggle. It's strange how sometimes the feelings in dreams haunt us even after we wake up to the reality. The fear, the pain, the struggle all felt real, and I woke up feeling more lethargic than last night. I have spent a lot of time sleeping recently, for while we are asleep we don't have to think much. 

Things been going okay the past week though majority of time I found myself surrounded by gloominess. I found myself starting to avoid interaction with people that I know but not closed to. In the past if I were to meet one on the street I would stop to catch up, but now I'd try to look away and avoid the very basic interaction. I did not have any urge to get to know the freshies better, no plans to expand my existing friends circle. If this is what I really want, I wonder why am I still in Sheares till now. 

It took me much deliberate thinking in deciding to decline the ihg conveying offer. While I find it a good experience to try out event planning, to make one or two more friends, at the same time I'm unwilling to sacrifice my sleep and free time to tank the workload along the way, especially in view of my overloading semester, to which I have not yet start studying for anything for a bit. It's indeed my last semester in trying to pull my cap to a 3.5. I'm never a good decision maker, so when choices lay ahead of me, I'm clueless on what to do. Grateful enough, for tan listened to me and gave advices when I went over at four in the morning. May I make good use of the free time that I chose to have. 

Need to buck up with life soon. If one isn't responsible for his or herself, nobody will.