Identity.

Today I want to write about myself, for sometimes I'm confused with who I am.

Let's begin with the Social media's perspective. I was never a fan of Insta because I trust neither the stories or the filters. Photos are edited to appeal to our eyes and you will never get a full picture of anything from it. Only the good things are being put up and people get envious over all the travel shots, the foods etc. I used to over-tweet back in the JC days but not so anymore. For now the only site I enjoy is using Facebook to tag photos of places I've been to with people I felt worth spending time with. Since I've been changing phones frequently and it saddens me to lose all the photos taken. Oh and probably tumblr too, though it die down a lot since Idk when, perhaps after I gained back all the weight I lost, or since I got attached few months back. I never knew the real rationale in creating the tumblr; to motivate myself or to move on from the past. So that's all one can possibly know about me through the use of the internet. And no one knows how true it is except for maybe myself. 

The most frequent words that I heard from peers or teachers often includes outgoing, optimistic, talkative and full of rubbish. Guess that describes me more or less. Considering I have been standing at the back of the classroom since primary school, and no one who ever sat beside me was spared the fate of being scolded tgt for talking in class. I can't stop talking hahaha. I enjoy human interactions and I always feel that everyone is amazing in their own way, and there is always things I could learn from them. Outgoing wise could be attributed to the fact that I like to talk, way too much, though that isn't equivalent to being sociable. There were times that I was being outcast and it felt horrible. I always find myself uneasy sitting in a group of girls, that talks anything from celebrities to hot hunks to the latest fashion because I was never into things like that. I always find it a waste of time to care too much about these gossips, especially when they don't even know your existence. That being said, I like to waste my time on childish anime, Legos, mostly things that you would do as a child. Well guess that's how a person turns out to be if you were too deprived when you were young hahahaha. I always wanted to get a Barbie for myself but kns the price is so ridiculous for a plastic doll, not to mention that it's absolutely useless too. ( This reminds me how I got furby for such a heavy price and three days later I started ignoring it till now. ) Well it's just me. And I'm grateful for things my dearest friends done for me, buying me tons of stationary for my 18th and two years later I still left a basketful to use, getting me Lill prince schedule book, buying me siewmai here and there, making me encouragement cards with bottle of ( bitter) chicken essence before exams, all these acts showing that they actually thought about me in their life are simply heartwarming sigh. :') 

At this point of time I suddenly realize how difficult it is to understand somebody, their habits their choice of food their favorite band favorite author favorite brand, their personality their needs and wants. And when you love somebody, how should you go about loving them. Everyone will try to be a perfect lover, to someone they love dearly at least once in their life. But things may go wrong people may break apart. It's such a pity for two people to walk down a long stretch of the road and go back to being stranger at the end of the day. Ohwell, while we live, let us live. Let's not worry what's beyond our control. ( On a sidenote it's such a cold night I can feel the wind blowing against my skin from the door far away. )

Guess these are pretty much the things I love, long texts, handwritten letters, ugly but adorable toys, and last but not least quality time spent together, deep talks, getting lost, going around the island trying to dig out something new to do, somewhere new to visit, now to think back, even studying tgt with y'all were great memories; staying back in class with 940 and chua everyday before Os blasting music over the speakers; climbing onto the Vj rooftop with ali after we got bored doing A level tys; burying our heads into notes at Subway with fann; late night studying sessions with terry into wee hours in Sem 1. Thank you for pushing each other when we felt like tearing the papers, thank you for enduring the lament hours with me, thank you for the bitter smile we gave one another everytime. We've come thus far, let's not waste our life away.

Ending off, I tends to digress a lot, maybe that's something you would know about me by now too.