I wish I could do something,for you.

Indeed, it takes really really long to understand someone. And more often than not, you never will.
Simply because you are not them,neither do you live their life.

I always assumed that it is a right thing to influence someone positively, to change a person into someone better, with better qualities, more charitable, more outgoing but I guess I was wrong. What I felt was right might not be so to another person.

It was a long day for me today, and at the end of it, a really special friend of mine who I have been trying to inculcate positive thinking to, said this to me;

You wanna live forever, live healthily, contribute to society and be a good person. But I don't, I wanna die as quickly as possible do all the fucked up shit and beat people up. We are both from two different world. I just need you to be my friend but I don't want to be like you. Please understand the way I want to live my life I don't need to be saved I just want to be remembered.

It made me think a lot. And that perhaps I was wrong all along. There is just so little I knew about him after four years and I shouldn't say things to him  in such a way as if it is as easy as counting one two three.
For one, I did not had a drunkard dad.
I did not have to open the doors to a completely empty fridge at home. ( The sight of it is saddening, it is as if no one lives in that house. )
I did not have to stay in an empty house every single day with no conversations, no one does the laundries, no one giving any shit for the house.

I wish I could do something, to help. But I couldn't. I'm in neither position or ability to do so. All I can do is to provide a listening ear, listen to his stories. And stop giving advice because I'm not in his shoe and I will never know how it feels like everyday. Perhaps it is time that I start to understand why certain people behave certain ways, like how Mr Dolphus Raymond in the book To kill a mocking bird lived his. But I just don't understand, how can people be so irresponsible. How could couples make vows to get married but start a family without love. How could parents neglect their children if they made the decision to bring them into this world.

Oh sorry for my naive thoughts.
It breaks my heart thinking of all this. I just want to live in the belief that everyone is happy with their lives and their family.