7.

“No matter how much suffering you went through, you never wanted to let go of those memories.” 

- Haruki Murakami

I think I just did something terrible, omgosh, my brain must be not functioning. Damn, whatever I have done I'm terribly sorry for not managing my emotions better.  

Things din't change much for the past one week. As usual the day started off good together with Fann and Timo, I'm glad that I foresee that we won't be studying study so I bought only a few piece of papers to "study" study, eventually spent three hours walking in circles and triangles around bugis street to look for present for Timo's friend. Gosh,I guess I have a Love-Hate-Relationship with shopping because while I love buying things at the same time I hate it when I have to spend hours turning my head and walking in a maze like place for hours. That kills all my excitement for shopping. And this sometimes leads to me making bad economic decisions by making purchases on blogshops. But the root problem of me not fitting into blogshop items is probably my slightly plump body, to which in order to address it I should instead start by losing weight instead, which I, well. Eh, yeap. Moving on to next topic, I've got a friendship band today to which the attendant claimed that she tied a  dead knot, meaning that it will be on my wrist forever. Forever is such a non-existing word hmph, which is soon proven by the fact that I managed to untie the "dead" knot afterwards.But still, friends don't turn into strangers just within a day, at least not that easily, except for perhaps extreme cases which I hope will never happen to me.  

The day moved on meeting weiting in the late evening for a short catch up after another half a year since I last met her.Honestly I'm glad at how she value our friendship, always accommodating to my seemingly busy schedule, that includes taking off day just to meet me up today, for listening to me the whole time. I swear I'm just so blessed with a couple of sincere and faithful friends around me. I guess we ourselves are the only ones who know how close we are to a person, somewhat same principle as being in a relationship or walking in a shoe, while the others only see it from outside, you are the only one that knows if it fits perfectly. Which reminds me of another analogy regarding how friendship is like peeing in your pants, while everyone sees it only you feel the warmth. Well sorry I'm overly reliant on friendship now cause I think this wall of trust is  stronger than relationships, much more tough. But yeah, I don't have intention to edit my blog layout because I secretly believe that you will be back as a friend someday, and probably becoming my only close guy friend. To which till this day I still don't quite get how to maintain a clear cut friendship with friends of opposite sex. Agh too much rules of the game.  

Rule eight,8. Trust your feelings. Your inner voice will tell you that everything will be OK.

I don't quite get it, I don't think I'm allowed to really show my feelings cause it's, prohibited in a way. Though I guess that I broke it and kind of threw a big fuss earlier on, sigh. I think my period is coming that's why moodswing tonight. must be. I honestly need to address to my pimple face and stop ignoring it before it leaves scars all over in the long run, the conditions are so bad now sigh. And secondly I need to readjust myself and stop running away by packing myself with busy schedules that isn't gonna work considering that I am not suppose to be outside hooha-ing at all. I need to learn to face it calmly when I'm left alone and stop keep avoiding the consequences. And thirdly I need to spend sometime home, sorting out the presents and the mountain high past year papers, done and undone, i need to pack things up, but, sigh I don't like the idea of facing my mum at home, nor do I want to be at home alone. Agh cannot, I must smile in trouble, gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection :')

Aiyo I still have so much to blog about but I'm just so tired now. But agh I just have so much on mind to tell you everyday.