Just, in-between.

Sunflowers are really delightful flowers. :]
Captured the photo today over at a florist shop while picking the African daisy below for a classmate of mine as she was the female lead for one of the Chinese drama play which I watched later on at night.

First time really stepping into a florist shop and took a walk around. Working or even setting up a shop like that sounds pretty good to me. Sometime I dislike the way my mum portray my future whereby I must do this and this, or by repeating over and again there's only one path I should and could take - Civil service. I mean, alright I don't detest such a job but, I just naively thought that perhaps we have a broad range of career paths to choose from. Meh, Okay just a childish comment. Competitive world.

I always hate how tuition has become a must for students because everyone is going, and if you don't, you are on the losing end. Hate how students compete among each other and making the whole world stressed up because everyone strives to be better than others. Just like how the school like to tell me I'm in bottom 15% of the school and they said it in hope for me to buck up and surpass others. School makes self improvement no longer improvement but it is materialized when you surpass others.

Isn't comparison the root of almost all unhappiness? Human beings tends to compare in all aspects,

Results, partners,  parents, salary, housing, car, wealth, appeals, electronic gadgets, branded goods. 

Oh human greed, one of the seven sins that ruin the world. I shall just constantly remind myself not to compare with anyone else but perhaps myself to make myself a better person and more importantly, a happier person.

Let's put a full stop on that for now. Chinese drama night was awesome and I actually teared for one of the play. Hah, always tends to get very emotional when watching plays, movies or drama. And there're always those awkward moments whereby I pretend to yawn cause I think it's weird for people to see me cry over movies. Don't like people to see me cry. Feels, weird upside down. 

Every this time of the year I will tends to feel like a neither here or there. When the whole PT is filled with Chinese ( Mostly scholars from all JCs in Singapore though. ) and I'm like, doesn't belong to them. Sometimes I'm not sure the real side of me, siding towards being a China Chinese or a Singaporean Chinese. I kind of enjoy being with both but I don't have a clear line of which I am. Especially with the approval of Singapore citizenship earlier this year that transformed me almost 100% to a Singaporean. But I guess I would still gladly introduce myself to others that I came from China, which I am after all. Yet strictly speaking I'm not one, I mean, all my best friends are Singaporeans and I'm really comfortable with them without any barriers at all. 

I always believe that I'm a very 'adaptable' person, but it's not a balanced judgement cause I only come to this conclusion because I no longer have the China accent be it speaking English nor Chinese. And I guess being in four different primary schools last time kind of made me who I am now. Which I'm not sure if the benefits outweigh the woes cause that's also mean that I forget the past cause I move on easily. Sigh.

Lastly to end off,Angst me is angst. Hahahah okay lame portrait. Well was pretty annoyed by the school for telling me need see HOD and 5th last in level for physics separately on two days. Cause it ruined my both days.
Had a walk at Singapore river after tuition on Wednesday to set myself free from the shit results I've got, or rather deserved. I always find it amazing at the way the tourists illustrates and compliment Singapore cause honestly I find the country quite boring in term of natural place of interests. And I'm glad I had a chance to make friend which this Korean tourist over at the Merlion and we chatted for almost an hour with simple English. Despite we had that awkward moment when he asked "where to go in Singapore?" And my first instinct was "Oh no place to go actually." but later on I cracked my brain and suggested those typical tourist attractions: Sentosa, Zoo, and even haw par villa. Meh.

And lastly I was quite surprised at the level of concern people have for me, which is quite shocking cause never did anyone scolded me for loitering outside at late hours ( except my mum, duh. ) Rushing off from airport to city hall to find me is definitely something no one has done before, was really grateful for his action. But I think I don't feel like getting too close to any guy this year. Mind tends to fluctuate and drift off a lot everyday if I'm in love with someone. This is something which I need to avoid this year.  And also mum's being paranoid of assuming I have a boyfriend too. Spend an hour lecturing me which made me late for school today. Totally hate it when she judge. Meh, sleeping time.