YES YOU CAN.

Fear nothing but fear itself.

I couldn't remember who said this but reality had proven that it's really true.

I have been totally traumatised by the horrible thing below since three weeks ago.

Since when did my stamina drop until I couldn't even get a mere 165cm? ( Which is a D. )

Ohmine. This sucks. and for days I spent time jumping over it over and again like a frog.

It's seriously screwing me upside down. But well, on a brighter note, I made improvement ;D

I started off with barely reaching 150 and today I jumped 165 ( though I slipped and landed on my hand. )

Feels great :D and accomplished :D and proud of myself. :D

But after giving it a deeper thought, I've learnt much more from this trivial matter.

I.totally.lack.of.confidence. and this applies to all aspects of life.

I'm just too afraid to raise my kneel towards my chest cause I'm afraid of falling;

I'm too scared to give in my all cause I keep telling myself I won't go over 160cm,

it's quite pessimistic to have such a mindset that: I'd never went over 160 and neither I will this time.

But, it's just in me. Sigh. And of cause just pointing out the weakness isn't enough,

so I tried to let go of myself and push my limit a lil bit further today,

hence I ended up falling on my hand ( going fracture is soon or later. ) but my result improved!

Aha, if I am able to get 173cm by this coming Thursday I will treat myself to a movie soon! (:

And there're two more things I learnt at th fitness corner today.

Firstly, don't care about what other people think of you cause in actual fact, no one gives a damn.

As I reached the fitness corner earlier on, I saw this guy lying on the floor doing sit up cause

the two sit up equipments were taken. I was like thinking: Woah, I will never do that man.

That's like oh-my-gosh-so-damn-embarrassing. :/ Don't he feel weird at all?

Then one second later it came upon me that no one actually cares where he want's to do it,

it's his own business and so long as it don't disturb the rest, he can do at where ever he want.

Why do I have to care about what others might think of me when no one actually cares?

It's just like you had a fall in a shop and you were so embarrassed thinking you'd make a fool

of yourself and everyone's gonna laugh at you and remember you forever for this incident.

you feel terrible the whole day over the fall and you think that the shop keeper will remember your face.

You never had the guts to step in the same shop again,you think people will recognise you as the one who fell.

But in reality, no one will put this on heart.

So do what you want, don't feel embarrassed or ashamed. Cause it's nothing in other people's eyes.

They see you, and forget you the next second.

That was one. The second is still over Confidence. A bold attempt is half success.

It too happened earlier on, I was so desperate I sat on the mat and saw this man attempting to do Pull Up.

(Oh just FYI that I can't do my IPU too, agh seriously since when my napfa became like that?! )

I don't know if this is a v normal thing for people to do but I'm like totally amazed.

So this guy, who is around my height, attempted to jump and grab the pull up bar that's like 50cm above him.

He jumped, failed, tried again and successfully had a firm grip of the bar.

Once again, I will never never ever do that, I don't even dare to jump & attempt to grab the bar

that's 5cm above me cause I'm scared that I won't get a hold of it.

This totally reminded me of th HRC I did during EVO camp back in secondary two,

we are suppose to climb this v. high wooden pillar, reach the top stand on it and jump forward

to grab the bar. Something like the image illustrated below.

I remembered I took the longest to climb up and finally step on it, then I jumped.

I actually gripped it but I let go the instant I had the grip. Ohwell.

Guess I'm really low confidence and it's really irony that I keep emphasising

the importance of self confidence for various application forms on being a leader.

Guess that's why I was never a leader in anything but forever a follower cause I was too afraid

to take on the task, It's just the horrible mindset of "I can't do it" stopping me from improving.

That's all for tonight I guess, it's midnight already.

_______________________________________________________________________

On a side note went to Ljs to study w/ Ali today, and I like this picture. Just saying :]

I Love EL JAY'S Fries.

Sadly this is applying to me for every tests, so far.

PS. Fann say my blog v inspiring I v touched. Second person after Yuquan who'd given similiar comments.

YAY :DDD armchio max.Hahahahah, so... does this help in my GP ? :/