想到想哭的感觉.

Don't like chinese new year this year , totally .
Sat alone at mrt platform watching th clock Tik-tok ,and slowly , Twelve .
Crowds out there must be screaming "xin nian kuai le" , as if they weren't doing th same things every year .
th whole mrt seemed so quiet , it was .

I miss th past so much ,
I don't know how many had th feeling of sitting alone in th cabin on new year eve ,
when you're th only chinese sitting there , alone .
For me , it sucks .

It makes me jealous of everyone who owns a proper family , it makes me jealous of myself , many years back .
Even though th family didn't consist any person known as a father or mother ,
I was so loved and I loved them so much , for years , we celebrated cny tgt ,
Laughing tgt , Play firecrackers tgt , we were more than a Family .
Until things cahnged 8 years back ,
From then on , every year wasn't celebrated , even if it is , I can't feel anything at all .

I know that there're people far worse than me ,
I saw people trying to sell tissues still tonight , I saw many still working th whole night .
Maybe they had a family , or maybe not , but they aren't celebrating .
Maybe someone precious to people out there fall sick tonight , or passed away .
They are all in a worse situation compared to me , But still .
I can't help myself but to be jealous .
.

I must , give my future kids a lovely home .

I must never, repeat these again .

ps. I m much better now :D After watching alot alot alot Jap game show :D

eg .