give a stab

This is so fucking screwed .
Head pain like shit now too -.-
wtf ,
I'm sorry ,
kay It's useless I know .
So,
Do I still love you , or not ?

I don't ?
Then why those tears ?
I do ?
But what do I still love about ?

Fuck Life , Fuck tonight .
My heart , is numb .
But why ?
Can I stay feel the pain then ,

I look at you and I can't remember what do I love about you ,
but sitting beside you reminds me of everything happened during the period ,
the period when you still love me .
And the next thing I know , I can't stop my tears from falling .

Do you know how it feels when you say that ?
My mind is in a blank ,
I just quickly pressed Back key after a brief glance ,
I don't even have the courage to read it again ,
I don't want to breakdown because of you , again .
I got enough of it ler ,
I want to get over you ,
I want to enjoy my life ,
I don't want you in my life making me nothing but to cry ,

I.want.to.stop.loving.you.if.i'm.still.loving.you.now .
I don't like this feeling inside me ,
I don't know why am I still putting hope in you after so many heartbreaking things you said .
I think I'm hopeless .

So people say , time heals ,
But is there a limit to the time ?
I'm sick of this .
I'm sick of loving you and you behaving like I'm a stranger who is nuts .
I'm sick of pretend that I forget all the bad things you said to me .
I'm sick of myself .

I want to break free from your shadow in my life .

Or am I juat saying all these out of guilty?