Collect Moments

I thought about you. I forgot your are gone.  It's been more than two weeks since you have left the world. But the number no longer matter, since it wouldn't change the fact that I have truly, lost you. Or have I lost you way before this, when you sent me that very last text in 2017, or even earlier, when your physical and mental health started to deteriorate in 2014... It's hard to pen down my thoughts and feelings. I am afraid to think about it, it constantly made me recognise how there could have been many things to be done, and perhaps in just one of the many alternative realities, you will still be here ,you will still be my friend. I could sense the same regret from your parents when we talked, how they wished they have done things differently to save their daughter. But we did not,or maybe even if we did, I don't know, will it be different? Every thought now is horrible. I'm sorry. I miss you so much. I'm sorry that I didn't know how to help you. I...