Collect Moments

Here I am, sitting on a gym ball, coming back to the good o' blog.  Why? Cos I finally feeling in the right spirit, both physically and mentally to recount and pen down some thoughts. Thoughts on, yes, a new member joining our lil family coming Nov. Since entering adulthood or even marriage I was never a strong advocate to have kids. Reasons typically being those you and I have all read in the news or on social media. Lost of personal freedom, cost of child upbringing, and also partially personally not quite/never ready to give birth to a new life which will be a long time responsibility, if not for the rest of our life. Maybe it was the long period of holed up at home since the pandemic, the lost of travelling opportunities, and other unknown factors. We decide to let nature take it's course this year, and well, nature seized the opportunity and responded fast enough indeed. Aha.  I don't think I am ready at week 15 now, nor will I ever admit that I am ready confidently. B...

 I wonder why do my posts get less frequent with each year. Was it really a case of busy adulting? But how do I justify for all the time I spent idling. Or is idle a form of resting as I switch in and out from work daily. Why is it that as a teen then I had so much inner thoughts to be expressed in words daily? Where did all these self thought goes to now? Do I engage in much less self reflection these days, because time marches forward anyway.  Unlike usual, I didn't have a new year resolution post this year. I simply told myself that I could probably just carry forward the 2020 resolutions and they would still largely apply. Well, on the night of cny eve now, I suppose it's still not too late to run through the past year yet. Good things that I could recount that happened in 2020; - Watched and enjoyed some good anime/animation/movies including demon slayer, inuyasha, haikyu,Farewell my concubine, the truman show, V for Vendetta, Casr away, Catch me if you can, Mob pyscho, H...

A year after we first came to know that Le bro bought over a corgi from his friend and intended to gift to us, the process was held back by both lengthy administrative procedures and the border closure in the midst of Covid pandemic, our doggo has finally flew into Singapore on the 29 Sep 2020! He will soon be joining us after the 30 days quarantine which we have 10 more days left to go~ I guess so this is how we got a dog in the end, my very first pet in life. While Lnr and I did discuss getting a Corgi for ourselves prior to Le bro's surprise present, factors like cost of Corgi puppy and the commitment required have always held us back. And here we are, bestowed as newly pet owners. The process to bring in a pet from overseas, especially a Category D listed country was somewhat lengthy and tedious, and requires about 3-6 months preparation in advance. We engaged an agent to settle the procedures in China and applied to AVS ourselves for the 1) Sembawang Animal Quarantine Station ...

 Ah, how? time stops for no man, or woman. I am a year older today, again.  Not complaining. I am grateful, for the friends and family who showed me love and care for this occasion. I do feel that I am getting older a little fast though, need to be more aware of each passing day to make it worthwhile.  What is the meaning of life. I think there isn't one, and we define whatever we want it to be.  Well then I hope to be happy most of the time, and not spend my life striving after things that I think will make me so.  I hope to always try to choose being a good person, to be appreciative and empathetic.  I hope to find the answer within myself, on whether or not to become a mother to another life.  Oh damn, I am old indeed.  But still, happy birthday Junting.  Live your life, one day at a time. 

I thought about you. I forgot your are gone.  It's been more than two weeks since you have left the world. But the number no longer matter, since it wouldn't change the fact that I have truly, lost you. Or have I lost you way before this, when you sent me that very last text in 2017, or even earlier, when your physical and mental health started to deteriorate in 2014... It's hard to pen down my thoughts and feelings. I am afraid to think about it, it constantly made me recognise how there could have been many things to be done, and perhaps in just one of the many alternative realities, you will still be here ,you will still be my friend. I could sense the same regret from your parents when we talked, how they wished they have done things differently to save their daughter. But we did not,or maybe even if we did, I don't know, will it be different? Every thought now is horrible. I'm sorry. I miss you so much. I'm sorry that I didn't know how to help you. I...

Much as I told myself to keep writing blog/diary as a habit, the frequency of my blog entry has been dropping drastically since last year, and I wonder if eventually it will come to a day that this pill0w.bs gets forgotten completely. I hope the day doesn't have to come, it is as if this blog is the only evidence left that connects my past to the present, the life journey and stories that I have encounter transiting from the then uncaring, bold and curious teenage girl, to a mediocre working class in the pubic service.  I wanted to pin down some thought on the recent General Election tonight. I think I have been rather apathetic towards local politics, at least until recently. It was really pretty straight forward as a new citizen, I am thankful towards the incumbent government for enabling to achieve what I have today. A generally meritocratic education system, a stable social and economic environment, an affordable housing and 9-5 job that pays on time.  Then there wa...

Circuit breaker day 12; work from home week 4.  It's been 5 months since the infectious disease made its entrance, leading to the ongoing worldwide pandemic situation. Here in Singapore, the infected cases is marching towards 6000 and will likely continue to rise. Various waves of measures was put in effective, from border controls to quarantine/stay home orders, and the most recently announced one month long 'circuit breaker' period to tackle the situation. In this month of April to early may, all non-essential services were closed, new rules on social distancing and wearing of mask in public space were put in place. It's honestly quite an unprecedented sight for Singapore, a country with a short history of 200 years.  Disease and illness are not new and they have plagued the humanity since the earliest days. In fact pandemics would more likely to occur as humans became more civilised with increase connectivity with more humans, animals and the nature. Bu...