Collect Moments

I thought about you. I forgot your are gone.  It's been more than two weeks since you have left the world. But the number no longer matter, since it wouldn't change the fact that I have truly, lost you. Or have I lost you way before this, when you sent me that very last text in 2017, or even earlier, when your physical and mental health started to deteriorate in 2014... It's hard to pen down my thoughts and feelings. I am afraid to think about it, it constantly made me recognise how there could have been many things to be done, and perhaps in just one of the many alternative realities, you will still be here ,you will still be my friend. I could sense the same regret from your parents when we talked, how they wished they have done things differently to save their daughter. But we did not,or maybe even if we did, I don't know, will it be different? Every thought now is horrible. I'm sorry. I miss you so much. I'm sorry that I didn't know how to help you. I...

Much as I told myself to keep writing blog/diary as a habit, the frequency of my blog entry has been dropping drastically since last year, and I wonder if eventually it will come to a day that this pill0w.bs gets forgotten completely. I hope the day doesn't have to come, it is as if this blog is the only evidence left that connects my past to the present, the life journey and stories that I have encounter transiting from the then uncaring, bold and curious teenage girl, to a mediocre working class in the pubic service.  I wanted to pin down some thought on the recent General Election tonight. I think I have been rather apathetic towards local politics, at least until recently. It was really pretty straight forward as a new citizen, I am thankful towards the incumbent government for enabling to achieve what I have today. A generally meritocratic education system, a stable social and economic environment, an affordable housing and 9-5 job that pays on time.  Then there wa...

Circuit breaker day 12; work from home week 4.  It's been 5 months since the infectious disease made its entrance, leading to the ongoing worldwide pandemic situation. Here in Singapore, the infected cases is marching towards 6000 and will likely continue to rise. Various waves of measures was put in effective, from border controls to quarantine/stay home orders, and the most recently announced one month long 'circuit breaker' period to tackle the situation. In this month of April to early may, all non-essential services were closed, new rules on social distancing and wearing of mask in public space were put in place. It's honestly quite an unprecedented sight for Singapore, a country with a short history of 200 years.  Disease and illness are not new and they have plagued the humanity since the earliest days. In fact pandemics would more likely to occur as humans became more civilised with increase connectivity with more humans, animals and the nature. Bu...

Count our blessings in midst of the tighten border controls worldwide arising from Covid-19, we managed a short 6 days leisure holiday in Perth with the Seah family in early March. With a 8-seater rental car, we embarked on a road trip a long the western coastline of Australia chasing waves.  With an average temperature of 20-30 Celsius, the weather are sunny in the day but made much bearable with the coastal wind and low humidity. We booked our accommodation via airbnb and got ourselves in few really spacious apartments throughout the trip - sunlit drop down windows, individual lawn and BBQ area. An idea living space that's too luxurious to own back in Singapore.  Taking away the travelling, we essentially had 4 full days for sightseeing from day 2 to day 5. With a slower pace travelling in large family, we typically start our day with cafe brunches, visit two place of interest in the day and wrap up dinner with Asian cuisine, and end the day by swing by ...

The first month of 2020 is ending quickly and quietly, with some fear and and speculations arising from the novel coronavirus in the air. In this ever evolving new media world, I find it increasingly difficult to stay clear minded and  not be swayed by a myriad of unverified sources. But I guess this is the world we are living in, so adapt and overcome? Anyway, it's a rare weekday night that I am home alone for Jiawei is down for night duties at work. So, self reflection time. Yay?  Quick review of the goals set in early Jan.  1. Write a journal entry everyday - 17/29 days 2. Practise the pole moves learnt everyday - Yes for most days.  3. Chew food slower - Yes for the first 2 weeks only.  5. Exercise everyday- 7 runs, 16/29 yoga, 2 swims, 7 gyms.   6. Prepare lunch for gym days - 4/7 gym days.  7. Record small & big item purchase in dairy - Yes.  8. Set aside $500 a month for savings - Yes but have not transferred...

January has knocked on the door while I was still preparing send off 2019 proper. I keep feeling this uneasiness that each day is passing without me giving the new year a reflective thought yet. So here it is, a short and sweet one written on a Wednesday night, unlike most of my posts that was typed out during the quiet late night on weekends. Taking the following helpful tips from The Woke Salaryman : Here is what I  want to put in effort conscious to self-improve: 1. Write a journal entry everyday, be it simply daily log, or a sketch and doodle. Reward self with a portable photo printer if I have done a good job for the next 3 months.  2. Practise the pole moves learnt each week every day thrice to familiarise. Take videos to track improvements. Reward self with a new set of pole wear after mastering Jayne butterfly's signature air walk move.  3. Reduce body fat percentage to have a flat tummy through chewing food slower, exercise everyday and prepa...

5 stages of short hair cut decision making and experience: 1 Being fickle for three months on whether or not to chop the (already short) hair even shorter. 2 Finally decided that it's just hair. There could only be 2 outcomes to it. It's either good and I like it or it's bad but it will grow back eventually.  3 Feeling vulnerable and nervous as the hairstylist trims off more than half of my head without any signs of hesitation. 4 Hair looked really out of shape and fuzzy but was eventually saved by magic hands and hair spray. 5 Accepted the new look and starting to grow more comfortable in it. NTS to learn how to style short hair from now on.