Collect Moments

And there goes October, as I finally lay my fingers back onto the keyboard after almost a month. In this month, very much accounted to my module, I grew yet another understanding of the migrant workers in Singapore. Theories aside, as much as I could comprehend the rationale behind the state to impose laws and regulations that view the migrant workers as a 'transient workforce' in Singapore, I can't help but to feel sense of sympathy towards them, how that the mindset of 'others' is instilled in the locals' mind, viewing them as dangerous beings and regular control is reinforced. The kind of unfair treatment often disgusts me, for if you are local or Caucasians, and you sit along the side of the HDB blocks nobody will blinks an eye, but once being identified as a migrant worker, the police would come up to chase you away. While the state advocates equality, meritocracy and racial harmony, I certainly do not see such tolerance within the people. And I wonder whe...

暮然回首，总以为早已被遗忘，又恍然间发觉原来还有人记得自己，顿时一股暖意涌上心头，窃喜。最近总是莫名的怀念以前，怀念早已远去的，十年前的自己。总是忍不住费尽心思的想找回一丝丝能带给自己过去的线索，开始寻找久违的友人，开始聆听十年前的老歌，试着重温当时的心境。 虽然一切早已物是人非，但看到大家都还在四处写着自己的人生，心坎上还是感到一丝欣慰，身边别过的人都确确实实的存在过。 自己一年一年的变化，成长，蜕变。周遭的生活一直从未间断的变好，从十年前住在小小的储藏室，到今天属于我们自己的屋子，我深刻的知道一切都是勤劳换来的成果。很少去羡慕别人，因为总觉得自己该有的，都有；而没有的，想要的，都可以靠自己的双手去争取。很怀念两年的自己，为了自己的目标毫不怠慢的激励自己，到也激发出一股自身前所未有的巨大力量。很希望自己的人生可以一直那样走下去，做不到面面俱到但也算对得起自己。 很庆幸自己在大学没有枉费人生，虽然成绩平平，有时甚至低得让人沮丧，但自己确确实实学到了很多知识，为人处事，好好的重新认识这个世界。不论这个社会她是多么的黑暗，多么的残酷，多么的现实，但总会有一群人，为他们所坚定不移的信念而奋斗着。而我想成为这样的一个人：我依旧希望可以用自己渺小的力量去帮助别人，帮助那些社会底层，手无寸铁的人们。 人的一生变幻莫测，没有人能预测下一秒会发生的事。而在我开来，面对人生的最佳方式就是活在当下。命运，就任由她操纵，但自己总要活出精彩，做最好的自己。希望我在踏入二十一岁后送给自己的洗礼是从今以后，自己可以精彩的活着～

Been having the urge to type, but I have been finding all sorts of excuses to procrastinate. And the truth is that I miss my teenage days, I know 21 is still young in relation to one's entire lifespan, I'm not insisting that I'm too old already, but that even at the age of 21. I already felt the vast difference from before. While I was on the way home earlier on a couple in secondary school uniform was strolling in front of me, and it brought me back to the days when I was a secondary student like them, when I talk like a xia0Meiimeiizxzx, when I had all the time of day to waste outside, when I was in a relationship and I thought that the person is the one and only. How naive indeed, I would have been so ashamed if somebody secretly recorded a footage of myself back in those days, those embarrassment, those so called troubles I had, those selfish and self-centered thought I have drawn upon myself. And time has changed, people grew. Day by day, comes responsibility, it is ...

Week 5, 21 years old now. Doesn't feel like it, and refuse to embrace it. Okay this probably has nothing to do with my birthday or not, but more of my stagnant state of my studies. Terrible, sigh. This is equivalent to my year 1 sem 1, or rather worse. And I'm forever in the shagged out state physically. Ohman, today is only the start of Soccer training. I didn't even have any prior commitment to this. Sigh. And relationship has slowly fades to the stage whereby two of us quarrel over the smallest thing ever almost every other day, damn, never thought these days will come, so soon. Well, I just really really need to sleep now. There is a lot of things on my mind, and yet in another second there is nothing on my mind. I need a good break and come back stronger.

After what feels like a month, and after all the procrastinations, I'm back to my most comfortable self, the blogging me. :) Sometimes I can't imagine how devastated I will be if blogger is removed from the internet one day. All my entries, all the words written, be gone. Well, let's not get into something hypothetical for now. It's four week into school and I have yet to bring out my fighting spirit to pull my results yet. The mods I'm taking this semester is interesting but my mugging spirit is just not there yet. And staying in hall is, redundant now. Things would have been the same, if not better if I were staying in residence. Coming to year two, I have became extremely reluctant to interact with new faces, or even catching up with some of the old ones. I'm way more comfortable staying in my room with the fairy lights by the window, the LEGO miniature figures on the table, resting on the funky chair my mum bought. I won't deny that I love the entire...

BStruggled to wake up from a dream this morning. One that I was trying to escape, as usual. This was more draining mentally for I found myself back to the place where I tried to escape after a long ride, and from there I tried to run away again, but it was proved to be another helpless struggle. It's strange how sometimes the feelings in dreams haunt us even after we wake up to the reality. The fear, the pain, the struggle all felt real, and I woke up feeling more lethargic than last night. I have spent a lot of time sleeping recently, for while we are asleep we don't have to think much.  Things been going okay the past week though majority of time I found myself surrounded by gloominess. I found myself starting to avoid interaction with people that I know but not closed to. In the past if I were to meet one on the street I would stop to catch up, but now I'd try to look away and avoid the very basic interaction. I did not have any urge to get to know the freshies better, n...

If I'm not asleep by 3am on any day it would probably going to be a long night ahead, such as tonight. Being the soccer captain in Sheares wasn't stressful until now, knowing that a coach with be training us voluntarily.  SH soccer has always been ranked last the past few years so it was all along a matter of 'there is nothing else to lose'. Not a popular choice, pathetic number of turn up rates and basically most people didn't give a shit. And things changed, after meeting up with the coach who sincerely offered to coach the team free of charge, willing to pump in both time and effort all the way into ihg. I feel that it's my responsibility to get as many good players as I could, people who are not necessarily good in hard skills, but ones who are willing to train hard and stay committed. It's not going to be easy, a look at the google doc showing the clashing of trainings doesn't give a good sign ahead. And me being not socialising enough the past yea...